Does Mysterious Object In Vancouver Sky Signal End Of Days?

A strange yellow orb has appeared in the Vancouver sky and seems to be emitting light and warmth, causing panic among local citizens and puzzlement in the scientific community.

In the face of such inexplicable phenomenon, many have turned to supernatural explanations and have embraced a piece of local folklore that would normally be dismissed. Ancient legend speaks of a mythical skybeast known as "Tszun" which returns once every hundred years to scald the skin of children and steal their souls.

Tszun, and what appear to tendrils

As Tszun mania grips the city, local alchemists have begun selling a strange concoction known as "Tszunscreen", and scantily-clad members of what is believed to be a Tszunist cult have been seen lying prostrate in the city's parks and beaches, apparently worshipping their god.

Many Vancouver residents have reported that staring directly at Tszun can cause temporary blindness, so experts are advising people to avert their eyes, both as a medical precaution and as a sign of obedience.

The earliest known account of Tszun can be found in the Necronomicon, written by the "Mad Arab" Abdul Alhazred some time around 730 AD. Whether Tszun is one of the Elder Gods or perhaps even Cthulhu himself had been a matter of much scholarly debate until the 1800's, when belief in Tszun and the Elder Gods became less prevalent and moved underground.

Despite the possible arrival of Tszun and what this could mean for the fate of the world, authorities are advising people to remain calm and stay indoors, but not everyone is following their instructions.

In one of the poorest East Van neighbourhoods, a half-blind elderly woman who many neighbours had often accused of being a witch emerged from her ramshackle hovel and confronted passersby with what appeared to be an inexplicable incantation: "Hot enough for ya?" She was promptly burned at the stake.